Sunday 27 January 2008

A bottle of rum and some 'wa gwan' please

D-Day number two is upon us. Trust me to have more than one D-Day but at least this time you know I will not be back in the UK for a while! Good riddance I hear you say? Pah.

Its been a long hard week, lots of running around and 'arranging' but mainly just doing anything so I don't get a chance to sit down, think too much and decide that my father is right and I need to call that investment banker called Olu!

'Fear is a motivator, not a paralytic' Anon (it is possible I made it up, but it feels like something I read somewhere...)

One thing in particular that has occupied my time is packing. Now, I have a backpack (courtesy of the people at Snow'n'Rock after they relieved me of far too much money). I decided that since I wouldn't always know where I was going or the terrain or I could change my mind at any moment, minimising my load and having something I could put on my back was perfect. WHATEVER!!! I am 5'3 and currently a little lighter than normal, my backpack is coming in at about two thirds my size and I'm supposed to put it on my back?!

Now don't all rush telling me I need to take less stuff and be economical, I am a young metro-black female with a large taste for Primarni and H&M, it is very hard to know what not to take! I'm already down to just one pair of jeans (I hope people realise how hard that is!), two pairs of shorts and a whole host of t-shirts and dresses (yuk, but they're light) that I hope I won't get tired of too quickly. I suppose the real problem is my toiletries supply. I remember prophesising at work a while back that this would be my problem and here it is. The thing is, I'm not taking double of anything (which I had actually planned to do) and I haven't bought any bumper sizes of anything....but I still have the equivalent of a trial 'Superdrug Express' store in my bag. It's sad I know, but you cannot play with moisturiser(s) (different one for face and body you see), cleanser, make-up remover etc etc etc etc.

Luckily for me, I am pretty sure that I only need to carry that bag on my back one time and I will happily dump half of its contents. For now, while there is a comfortable journey to Gatwick I shall live in the delusion that none of my preparations will have been in vain.

So, Jamaica here I come. Not particularly looking forward to the near 10-hour plane journey, but I have it on good authority (my darling Aishling) that I have a superb welcome party and evening awaiting me in Kingston. Can't wait!

Wednesday 23 January 2008

This grey place I call home

So I'm back in England....whoopee. You can probably tell I'm not exactly feeling too enthusiastic about the whole thing. It took about 5 minutes (between the plane landing and getting to the terminal building) for me to get over the 'looking forward to coming home' feeling and getting a severe case of get me the hell out of here! Ok, so I may be being a lil melodramatic, I have after all only been away for just under a month and it's not like I've been climbing mountains or anything (;-), but I do feel like I have been on a whole other planet and I kinda prefer it to my normal life!

Nigeria is somewhere I can see myself living; once I get over reliance on the following: regular electricity supply, always present mobile phone network, tarmacced (spelling?!) roads, pavements on every road, orderly queues, peace and quiet, privacy, UK driving standards oh and CSI (unless DSTV or Hi manage to secure rights to broadcast it in Nigeria). Not much really!! On a serious note, it just wasn't that bad. You will hear scary story after scary story about Africa, Nigeria and yes Nigerians, but to be there, to live there you come to realise why so many of our parents are going back.

Nigeria is a perfect example of the devil you know. Nothing is 100% so people are always ready to adapt, change, manage and survive. You cannot be disappointed if you expected something to go wrong anyway right? Might sound totally out of it to us who are used to a system of rules, regulations and don't do's, but actually its exactly what makes Nigeria so amazing. Despite so blatantly ignoring everything that we are led to believe constitutes an orderly and civilised society, it maintains a level of civilisation that is to be admired. And lets face it, we live in a constant mood of disappointment here, between delayed trains, weather depression and gas price hikes (wouldn't it be great if everyone could just buy their own keg of gas?!) everyone always wants to be somewhere else...well...not so in Nigeria!

So, I am armed with a new perspective already, I had a quiet giggle to myself on the train to Birmingham this week (yes I've already been there and back!). I was stuck in the quiet coach as the train was packed and sat two rows behind a Nigerian lady. No surprises when her phone rang (loudly), she answered it and had an very lively Ibo conversation for about 10 minutes. You just gotta love us!

Ok, so on to the next leg, I have a few busy days sorting out some final arrangements and getting some girlie and family time in and then I'm off again. I'm still sh*tting bricks about the whole thing, but onwards I go!


P.S. Pics are up! Check out my Flickr page


Wednesday 16 January 2008

Sick Girl in Africa

So, my technological cold turkey continues. I've had withdrawal symptoms from not being able to access the internet on a daily basis, and to top it all, the last two occasions where I have been able to access this blog, the connection has miraculously disappeared when I'm 5 minutes from the end and all my well written (ahem) prose has disappeared. I'm hoping its third time lucky!

Its been two weeks since I last posted (with success) and in that time I have been to Obudu Cattle Ranch in Cross River State; an absolutely amazing place. Okay, so the ever faithful super bumpy 7 hour drive to get there wasn't much to write home about, but it was absolutely worth every minute when we got there. Obudu is a holiday resort at the top of a mountain (we westerners will call it a hill, its only 6000ft above sea level). Originally founded by an Englishman (could be Welsh or Scottish, but to Nigerians they're all Englishmen!), its been maintained and updated by subsequent state governors to turn it into a world class holiday resort and conference centre and it now boasts having the longest cable car in the world!

I had an amazing time, from views across mountains all the way into Cameroon, stunning waterfalls and a dairy farm with the largest bulls I've ever seen in my life! The only disappointment was that low clouds mean that the photos I took do not in any way show the wonder of the view, but having been there live and in colour, I can’t complain. The place was breathtaking.

There were some scary moments, like the 11km ride up the mountain on very curvy road bends and crazy inclines. There is even one bend known as Devil’s Elbow where one unfortunate family lost their lives last year; no such thing as mountain rescue in Nigeria! There is a cable car ride from the top of the mountain to the bottom takes 15 minutes and is totally worth every minute. Even if you are someone like my mother who will cling on to the seat for fear that any movement will cause the car to go hurtling towards the ground!

I’ve been back in Abuja for a week now and I’m realizing that not having anything to do is very tiring! I get up in the morning, have a bit of a potter round the house, eat breakfast, go out to the market or just around town, come home around 6-ish and feel knackered! I tell ya, taking time off is not easy! (No hate mail please!)

I’m getting ready to leave Nigeria. Its not a moment too soon health wise, since I’ve been here, I’ve lost about 5 pounds; diarrhoea (no surprises there), vomiting (ditto), a cold (yes even in Nigeria), a cough that doesn’t want to leave and a nice helping of mosquito bites have all left me longing for my own climate…..although I wouldn’t go so far as to say I’m looking forward to the cold!

Still trying to get my photos uploaded on to Flickr for your viewing pleasure, but that might have to wait till I’m back in the UK. Watch this space! I'll be back in London for 1 week (plus a bit of darting about here and there) to repack my suitcase and gather myself before I to leave for Jamaica on the 28th! Yey!! Negril is calling out my name!

So, Nigeria is winding down…Jamaica is winding up!

Thursday 3 January 2008

Chronicle of a Lagosian Adventure

Okay, so predictably some may say, I'm having slight difficulty adjusting in the land of my birth. It is an experience unrivaled by anything I've done before. Anyone who has been to West Africa and experienced the African way might read this and have a little giggle to themselves. Trust me, you won't know till you get here just how bad it is! Don't get me wrong, I'm having a good time and all, my eyes are wide open and the things I'm seeing could not be experienced anywhere else.

The problem has been my western attitude to it. It doesn't wash in Nigeria. On-time doesn't exist, guaranteed is a myth and agression a way of life!

So where do I start, firstly, this place is not a holiday. I repeat, do not EVER come to Nigeria and expect a holiday. Everyone gets up at the crack of dawn, literally; its still dark outside and the chickens haven't even started crowing! This is actually the standard of life in this country, they don't sleep and they work hard, so there is no way you're gonna come and sleep all day?! Abomination!

I also had a knuckle ride experience going from Abuja to Lagos, a road trip unlike any other. It took 10 hours each way, all because of the road quality...Alton Towers should come to Nigeria for inspiration for their next themed ride! The journey back was even worse as we ended up having a broken down bus, a five hour delay and spent the last 5 hours of the journey traveling in the dark on bumpy roads with no street lighting averaging 110Km/h. Imagine it if you can, you won't come close to the reality of it!

Nigerians are also extremely Christian Christians. During the multi-state journey to Lagos, I came across churches called everything from 'Patronise the Lord Jesus Fellowship Ministries' to 'Holy Endeavours Spiritual Development Ministry'. I shan't make too much fun but I had a hell of a time reading some Church names!

Lagos itself is a whole other place. The traffic is horrific, the people are mad and the term 'Lagos Driving' needs to be certified as one of the wonders of the world. The only parts of the vehicle that should work in Lagos are (in this order); horn, fog-lights(your headlights don't really matter), breaks and if you're in a luxury vehicle (I use this term lightly!) maybe the a/c. I've never seen anything like it, 2 lane dual carriageways turned into 7 lane car derbys with bumps, crashes, rides, swearing, fighting and not a single safety helmet in sight! 15 seater minibuses turned into road haulage companies carrying anything from 25 people to cattle and oranges. My brother and I are still trying to figure out how they fill a bus from the front to the back with oranges, leaving space only for the driver...and how do they get it out? Answers on a postcard please!

One thing I will give Lagosians is that they don't mess with their seatbelts. Accident rates are unsuprisingly high and if they can sqeeze their way into one they will! even if it means 2 people per seatbelt!

So many Nigerians avoid Lagos and I understand why, so many things happened there that I don't have time to write here, but now I've experienced it, can't say I'm in a rush to go back!

The major downside is, of all the weird and wonderful pictures I took there...I have almost none. On my last day while messing with the camera and trying to make some changes to the settings, I managed to format the memory card, so every picture I'd taken including pictures of family members I haven't seem for 15 years and wont see again anytime soon....all gone. Shit happens. My UX consultant hat is screaming for someone at Canon to have a look at their error prevention...a lil message saying 'Delete all images? Y/N' would have done the trick nicely!

I will say though, I do feel very at home, I getting to practice my pidgin English and Yoruba and I've started screaming and fighting with the best of them. You can't beat Nigerians, so you have no choice but to join them!

I beg-o, ger'rout my frien'!